Dumb Jokes: Volume 1

[John]

Keep 'em coming.

[John]

I saw a knight on a horse clear twenty buses today, I asked someone "who was that?"
Medieval Knievel apparently.

Christmas cracker?

I thought so.
Went to the army surplus store today to get some goodies with money I received for Christmas, I asked the guy at the counter where the camouflage jackets where, and he replied 'Good aren't they?'

I'm just watching a programme about Ken Dodd, and he told this one.

[TonyS]

I saw a knight on a horse clear twenty buses today, I asked someone "who was that?"
Medieval Knievel apparently.

Christmas cracker?

I thought so.
Went to the army surplus store today to get some goodies with money I received for Christmas, I asked the guy at the counter where the camouflage jackets where, and he replied 'Good aren't they?'

I'm just watching a programme about Ken Dodd, and he told this one.

Really?
That's another one of mine he nicked then !

[John]

I saw a knight on a horse clear twenty buses today, I asked someone "who was that?"
Medieval Knievel apparently.

Christmas cracker?

I thought so.
Went to the army surplus store today to get some goodies with money I received for Christmas, I asked the guy at the counter where the camouflage jackets where, and he replied 'Good aren't they?'

I'm just watching a programme about Ken Dodd, and he told this one.

Really?
That's another one of mine he nicked then !

Claim it off his estate.

[TonyS]

I saw a knight on a horse clear twenty buses today, I asked someone "who was that?"
Medieval Knievel apparently.

Christmas cracker?

I thought so.
Went to the army surplus store today to get some goodies with money I received for Christmas, I asked the guy at the counter where the camouflage jackets where, and he replied 'Good aren't they?'

I'm just watching a programme about Ken Dodd, and he told this one.

Really?
That's another one of mine he nicked then !

Claim it off his estate.

I went to his funeral in my camouflage gear, but no one saw me there.
( not really, but I was at his home when the cortège left, that's true )

[John]

I saw a knight on a horse clear twenty buses today, I asked someone "who was that?"
Medieval Knievel apparently.

Christmas cracker?

I thought so.
Went to the army surplus store today to get some goodies with money I received for Christmas, I asked the guy at the counter where the camouflage jackets where, and he replied 'Good aren't they?'

I'm just watching a programme about Ken Dodd, and he told this one.

Really?
That's another one of mine he nicked then !

Claim it off his estate.

I went to his funeral in my camouflage gear, but no one saw me there.
( not really, but I was at his home when the cortège left, that's true )

Why were you there?

[TonyS]

I saw a knight on a horse clear twenty buses today, I asked someone "who was that?"
Medieval Knievel apparently.

Christmas cracker?

I thought so.
Went to the army surplus store today to get some goodies with money I received for Christmas, I asked the guy at the counter where the camouflage jackets where, and he replied 'Good aren't they?'

I'm just watching a programme about Ken Dodd, and he told this one.

Really?
That's another one of mine he nicked then !

Claim it off his estate.

I went to his funeral in my camouflage gear, but no one saw me there.
( not really, but I was at his home when the cortège left, that's true )

Why were you there?

Photographer.
As a footnote my wife has some family stories and some of her extended family knew him.

[John]

I saw a knight on a horse clear twenty buses today, I asked someone "who was that?"
Medieval Knievel apparently.

Christmas cracker?

I thought so.
Went to the army surplus store today to get some goodies with money I received for Christmas, I asked the guy at the counter where the camouflage jackets where, and he replied 'Good aren't they?'

I'm just watching a programme about Ken Dodd, and he told this one.

Really?
That's another one of mine he nicked then !

Claim it off his estate.

I went to his funeral in my camouflage gear, but no one saw me there.
( not really, but I was at his home when the cortège left, that's true )

Why were you there?

Photographer.
As a footnote my wife has some family stories and some of her extended family knew him.

When you have the time....feel free to share.

[goldbelt]

A bloke went to his financial advisor and was told that Bonds might be a good investment for him.

So the bloke bought five hundred copies of 'Goldfinger' and 'The Spy Who Loved Me'.

[goldbelt]

Bloke goes to a book shop and asks if they have any books about turtles.

The assistant says - Hardback?

The bloke says - Yes, sort of like a tortoise.

[goldbelt]

Bloke goes into a shop and says he'd like to buy a watch.

Assistant says - Analogue?

Bloke says - No, just a watch for now.

[John]

Goldbelt, I'll be putting you forward for Britain's Got Talent, or something like that.

[goldbelt]

You did say to keep the jokes coming.

Those will have to do until the jokes arrive.

[John]

You did say to keep the jokes coming.

Those will have to do until the jokes arrive.

Haha.

Yep, keep 'em coming. We need these to lighten up our days.

[goldbelt]

I got my girlfriend a fridge for Xmas

Her face lit up when she opened it.